Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
