he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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