I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize