just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
