It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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