A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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