I want to stick my p in your. b.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
