We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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