she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
