Rock
Scissors
Fuck
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
