Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
