While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
