You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
