Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
