She said her name was "party"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
