READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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