So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize