So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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