oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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