I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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