She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
