Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It's like God shit irony all over that family
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I am naked and annoyed.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
