Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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