Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My vagina is very pro this idea
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
