Me too!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
