Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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