last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
