i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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