It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
