Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
