I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
