Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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