ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it's great music for shaving your balls
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
