Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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