i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
