How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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