Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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