Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
