Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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