Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
