I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
