Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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