I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
