just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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