I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
