You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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