No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
