A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
