Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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