seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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