Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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