then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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